Hi, thank you for coming to read my blog. I want to share with you my story as I came to live in the USA with a physical disability and how God has been my strength through it all. He has been faithful. Hopefully, the lessons that I have learned on this journey will inspire you and help you to live "Day by Day" in your own journey.

May 24, 2010

The Mall

We had to get creative while we were still looking for an apartment to establish our residence. I could not stay in the Motel room for so long every day. There was nowhere to go and after a while after you do all you can do, it gets really boring in a situation like that. Obviously I could not go to Vic’s office every day to wait for him so that is how we came up with the idea that I could stay in the mall for the afternoon every so often and we would alternate my “waiting places” to keep me entertained and active until we had a more normal situation.

So one day that we had lunch at the mall, we decided I was going to stay and Vic was going to pick me up after work. This may sound like a very normal situation to you, but for me it was an incredible adventure. The reason why was that I had never been left alone in a public place like this in my whole life! When I was in Lima, I always had someone with me when I went out of my home. I needed help pushing my chair. I didn’t have enough strength in my arms to drive my chair for long distances. Mostly due to polio affecting my left arm from the shoulder to the elbow, so that meant most of the effort to drive the chair was on the right arm and there was just not enough thrust.  Also, in Miraflores, there were no cuts on the sidewalks except for Avenida Larco, which is the commercial area and I needed to go up and down the sidewalks to be able to cross the street. I couldn’t do that on my own. I only move around on my own at home or at work, but never outside. So being at the mall by myself was something huge to me.

The floors in the mall were so smooth and shiny, no steps or uneven places, so I didn’t have any major problems driving my chair. Only that I would move really slowly, but after all, I had hours to explore and do whatever I wanted so who cared! I was 41 years old and I felt like I was a teenager going out to the mall alone for the first time. I had a sense of wonder and was a little afraid at the same time. This was a place of exploration and a challenge too, it was exciting!

The Mall had three floors and a glass elevator to go up and down plus the escalator. I started on the first floor, after Vic and I located the bathrooms and the paid phones to make sure I could reach the phone to call him later. (We didn’t have cell phones at that time). These phones in the mall were on a wall with half booths. There were four of them and only one of them was placed at the height that I could reach, that was the “accessible” phone for disabled people. The fact that here in the US there are so many things that are accessible for people with disabilities is a wonderful thing. Now I am used to it but back then I was really impressed and enjoying every time I discovered something that was accessible to me! It makes you feel that you count too, just like anybody else does. Unfortunately, in my Country we didn’t have that kind of access to regular services and even buildings. At least, not in the time I used to live there Now I understand things are changing and they are paying much more attention to these things. In great part due to the wonderful work of Michael Urtecho Medina, a Peruvian congressman with a disability. You can read his story in English here: http://sites.google.com/site/boletinan/urtecho/BiographyMichael.htm?attredirects=0 And if you can read Spanish, this is the link to his blog: http://congresistamichaelurtechomedina.blogspot.com/

Going back to my story, after locating these important services, Vic would leave and I started my adventure. The first time I browsed through some stores and boutiques. Not many since I would spend some time in each. It was just window shopping but I like to see details and compare prices when I do that. When I went to department stores I could just spend the whole time in one store since they are so big. I remember when I went to Sears and they had a sale on raincoats. I never had one, I never really needed one because in Lima it practically didn’t rain and when it did, it was just what you would call a drizzle in the US, so a raincoat was too much! But I was in New York and I knew it rains there and had already seen rain a couple of times so I thought it would be a good idea to have one, only that the summer was rapidly approaching and I wasn’t sure it was worth to buy it at that time of the year.  But before I shopped I called Vic to ask his opinion. And when I asked the question he said yes, it would be a great idea. Then I told him my doubts in buying then because of the summer and he said it rains here all the time! I went “even in the summer?” and he just laughed and laughed and said “yes, even in the summer!” It was a funny moment, but honestly, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach because the summer is the season I love the most and we never had rain during the summer in Lima (except when “El Niño” current is active). And that made me sad because I realized at that moment that certain things were going to be so different for me for the rest of my life. And I was naive and new to many things I needed to learn and adapt, but it was ok, it needed to be like that. “Once you get on the horse, keep galloping!”




May 16, 2010

Motel Life and Food

I can’t believe how many days went by and I didn’t get my post out there for you to read! There is just so much to do and life seems to pass me by like a car on a speed race! Anyway, here I am again and continue with the story.
After a week or so, it was time to move on to some more affordable place so on a week night, after we finished packing at 2 o’clock in the morning, we moved out of the apartment-hotel. Vic had to make 2 trips in the rain just to be able to carry the luggage, the benches, and on the second trip me and the wheelchair. The next day, he had to go to work…

You must be wondering what “benches” I am talking about; well there are transfer benches that are specially manufactured for bathroom use for disabled people. Since I cannot walk at all, not even stand, I have to use these benches to take a shower and do other things you do in the bathroom. And in case you are wondering why I cannot walk, the really short version of the story is I had polio when I was a seven month old baby so since then, when I was starting to give my first steps, I have not been able to walk. I lived all my life on a wheelchair and that’s the story.

We moved into a motel in NY, in Westchester County. This was only one room with a microwave. No kitchen, no mini living room or mini dining room. This meant we could not cook; the microwave was only to heat things really. Without having dishes or other kitchen utensils or a table, there was not much we could do, so we had to eat out or order food. But what can you actually order? There are only two things they deliver, Chinese food or pizza (and I would not have pizza regularly…).

Once a week we would visit Vic’s brother and his cook would give us a nice dinner and we were allowed to use his washing machine and dryer to do our laundry. He was very generous with us and tried to help us as much as he could. Some other night we would visit Vic’s mom and we would cook there and the three of us shared a meal together. It was nice. But most of the days it was just Vic and I on our normal routine.

Vic would go to work in the morning and I stayed behind adapting myself to the new environment again. By this I mean adapting to the different layout of the benches according to the dimensions of the bathroom. We had to consider the height of the bed in relation to my wheelchair that needed to be the same so I could transfer from one to the other on my own with a transfer board as a bridge between them. And also I needed to consider how soft the mattress was and how much I sank on it, since this would affect my ability to transfer to and from the chair. All these kind of things that you probably never noticed or even thought about, are things that I have to consider every time I move, travel, or even if I want to spend the night anywhere else other than my home.

At lunch time, Vic would bring some food, have lunch with me and get back to the office. The only thing I could do in the room was watching TV, or reading or praying so I would do that until he came back after work. Then we either went out to eat or order Chinese food. Meanwhile, we were still looking for an apartment during the evenings or weekends Some   times, we went to see an apartment at lunch racing against time so Vic could go back to work and he would take me to his office and I would stay at the employee’s cafeteria for the rest of the afternoon until he finished working.

Waiting there was fun, every so often, Vic would come down and introduce me to a co-worker, I could have snacks from the vending machines if I wanted to and I would pass my time writing letters to my friends on my laptop. Since this was a big building with lots of employees, the cafeteria was very big so I was not intruding on anybody. Sometimes, Vic would hide me in the conference room upstairs when nobody was using it. I was not supposed to be there to avoid liability for them in case of an accident. There I could make phone calls to Lima, Peru for free… This happened to be a Telecom company and making phone calls overseas was not unusual for them, since they owned the lines, it didn’t cost them anything and the employees were allowed to call, so Vic’s boss knew I was using the phone. I got to talk with my friends and family in Lima for a long time while waiting. It was a lot of fun!

Going to Vic’s office worked out very well and I was not in our room all the time! After work, we would go to the White Plains Mall and have dinner in the food court. This Mall is the scenario for my next adventure!

We will continue the story on my next post. Please leave your comments at the end of my posts; I would love to hear from you! Hasta la vista!

May 4, 2010

Twelve and Counting

 It seems like it was yesterday. I got off the plane on a cold morning in February, 12 years ago. February is the hottest month of the summer in Peru, at least in Lima, where I was born. It seemed so surreal to feel cold then at the airport in New Jersey and later that evening in my husband's mini car that made me feel like I was inside the freezer! It was -5 degrees Celsius! I had never experienced that kind of cold in my life! And as I was sitting there in the car, feeling the cold right to my bones and shivering, I wondered in what kind of trouble I had gotten myself into and if I was going to be able to endure this kind of weather for the long run…

Here I was, newlywed, arriving to a new Country to start a new life. Leaving behind family and friends; my Church, my work (which were the same since I was an Associate Pastor there), failures and accomplishments...many memories. New language, new customs, new culture… It was a lot to take at the same time. But God was with me. I just reminded myself “He is with me”, talked to Him a little, and everything was all right again.

As soon as we were in the airport after my immigration papers were in order and they asked me what was the official name I wanted to use in the USA I replied “Alicia Gentile”; we left. My mom, who traveled with me, went with my brother and his wife home and I went home with my husband Vic. Home for us at this early stage of our marriage was an apartment hotel in Connecticut, almost 2 hours away from the airport! This trip showed me how big the distances are here and how I would dread these long car drives that I was not used to make. Back in Lima, I used to live in a suburb called Miraflores, and I also worked there and did everything else there, so the largest time I normally was in a car was 20 minutes at the most.  And in the summer, if I wanted to get to my favorite beach, it was just a 40 minutes drive. So at least for the first 6 months living in the US, it felt like live was passing me by while in the car, the drives seemed that long.

The mini apartment was very comfortable, full equipped and I could even cook in the little kitchen that we had. Vic had to go to work, so I stayed there getting used to my new environment though we didn’t stay there for long, one week if I remember correctly. We were there only because the apartment that Vic was going to rent for us was taken by someone else at the last minute before he traveled to Lima to marry me, even though he had a deal already. Now, finding an apartment that is accessible for a wheelchair is not an easy task anywhere, but in New York’s suburbs, where Vic worked, it was really tough! The reason why is because most of the constructions are old and not up to date with new regulations that facilitates access to a wheelchair. The interesting thing was that there were several apartments listed as wheelchair accessible, and they were, all the rooms and doorways except for one, which one do you think? The bathroom! What were these people thinking? In some of them Vic would walk in the apartment they were showing him and pass the realtor by on his way to the bathroom just to measure the doorway because if that was not right, it was the big “show stopper” no matter how beautiful and roomy the rest of the apartment was, it was no good for us.

That is how we got to this apartment hotel.

The story will continue on my next blog.