The area of New York where we lived, was not the “Big Apple” (NY City), it was a small town called Thornwood or “wood of thorns” not too far from Manhattan. Lots of trees, no sidewalks on the side streets, only on the main streets, long distances, country like. The only memory I could compare it to, was the area of Las Casuarinas or Chosica in Lima, only more contemporary, but the idea was the same. Then we had spots where there were opened shopping centers where you had the bank, the supermarket, the dry cleaners, the laundry mat, restaurants and of course a pharmacy and some retail stores.
The most typical thing in NY and across the North East is the Diner. These are family restaurants where the locals go normally not for special occasions only but almost every other day to have the soup of the day or whatever is on the menu that you like and is almost like a home-made meal when you don’t want to cook. They are very affordable and the cooking is really great! We had one in our town and we became regulars too. It is the kind of place where you make friends with your waitress. We met this nice little lady, older than us, she was so diligent and fast in her service and also very friendly, she made you feel like you where home. She had worked there for many years and she had had 2 heart attacks but she continued to work as lovingly as she could. We miss her.
One afternoon I was shopping in a supermarket a couple of blocks away and I had elevated my seat to reach something in the store. When I left the store and was on the sidewalk I started to lower my seat to its normal position and all of the sudden the chair stopped moving! I didn’t know what was going on at first, then I realized that one item that was in the bag I had hanging from my seatbelt had gotten under the seat and onto the base of the chair and was stuck. It was a little glass bottle and when the seat came down and found the bottle’s resistance, the fuse blew! And to my surprise, the bottle didn’t break! The problem now was I was on the street alone, the chair didn’t move, I didn’t have a cell phone and it was freezing! I was powerless! The good thing is that when there is a pressing situation like this, I go into “emergency mode” and I try to resolve the situation in spite of my feelings. So I immediately thought that I needed to call Vic at the office so he could come and get me. The problem was that I didn’t have a cell phone to call him. Thank God I was right next to the supermarket’s door and there was public phone a little bit further down on the sidewalk. The thing was how could I get to the phone? Well God sent me an “angel”, I needed help. It so happened that a guy that worked in the store was on his break and he was right there just resting. I talked to him and explained what happened and asked him to disengage the brakes of my chair and to push me toward the public phone so I can call Vic. So he did. He was from Argentina and it was easy to have a conversation with him since we had things in common. I called Vic and he left the office to come to pick me up. The store employee went back to work but every so often came out to see if I needed anything until Vic came.
Once Vic finally got there it was much colder and unfortunately my power chair could not fit in our car so Vic had to push me back home and these chairs are really heavy! But there was no other choice. When we got home Vic asked for help to the neighbors to push me up the hill and get me home where I could call someone to come repair my chair the next day. Then he had to go back to the store to pick up the car. And everything went back to normal.
I don’t think that I ever had experienced feelings of such powerlessness before that. There are moments in life when we feel like that. Life escapes our control, we don’t understand what is happening or why and we don’t know what to do. We feel that is all over and for a moment we feel that there is nothing that we can do to change our situation. We wish that we would have another way to resolve things but there is none. Desperately, we try things and they fail pushing us further down into more powerlessness. I learned a very powerful lesson that day that I still apply now and I have through the years every time I have experienced these situations in any area of my life.
For starters, don’t panic! Put your trust in the Lord and seek wisdom. Then, look for solutions and if necessary, ask for help. Learn to take precautions, next time don’t put your shopping bag there and always carry a cell phone for emergencies! I said to myself and this I have done. Lastly, if there is a situation that really does not have a way for you to resolve it, then cast all your care upon the Lord and stand. Wait for His deliverance. He will always be there for you.
See you next week!
June 29, 2010
June 21, 2010
The Chair
During the first week in the apartment, it was not possible for me to go out because of the steps at the entrance. We got a carpenter to make a ramp and a little platform right in front of the door so I could have a place where to turn and face the door to enter and exit before the inclination started. It was a good construction that survived the rain and the snow and also the scorching sun during the summer for all the time we were there. And it probably is still in use! Here is an image of the ramp. On the left of the picture you can see ( a little dark) a little wall that was supporting dirt and plants, right in front to our door and window.
We still didn’t have furniture and Vic used a plastic crate to sit and we used the little table of my wheelchair as our table to eat. We borrowed some dishes and pots from Vic’s mom and started cooking there. It was fun to start doing these things. Pretty soon we were getting some of Vic’s old furniture and buying some new ones as well as our kitchen utensils. I knew how to cook, even though I didn’t use to do it on a regular basis when I was in Lima. I didn’t have the time or the need since there was always someone taking care of me. My mom first and then I had a housekeeper who helped me with all the domestic chores. Here I could cook as long as I adapted everything to the right height so I could reach the things I needed to be able to do it. So we did organize things the best we could. Lord! Sure I missed my housekeeper to help me with the house chores! (Well, I missed her too. I loved her like a daughter). But that was my job now and all I can say is that I appreciated more than ever all what my family and she did for me on a daily basis.
One day, when we were visiting Vic’s mom, I saw a commercial on TV about a motorized wheelchair and how much independence it could bring to someone with a disability like me. I had seen them in Canada years ago but I never had one. This seemed like the best time in my life to have one. These chairs are expensive but they are also the kind of medical equipment that a medical insurance policy covers and I was insured by Vic’s medical insurance provided by his employer, so what better opportunity than this to try to get one. So I asked for a demo video and a personal demonstration conducted at my home. Days later, they went to our apartment and showed us all the features of the chair. It was really good, impressive! But we decided we wanted to shop around and look for other options. We did, and we found an even better chair! Here I am going down the driveway with my mom:
The chair had more than enough stability for going down the steep driveway we had. We had the demonstration done and I got to try it! It was great! But I was really scared trying to go down the driveway, but it was safe. The insurance company paid the chair after my doctor sent the information to them and proof that I have a medical reason to own one. We paid just a minimum fee of the thousands of dollars it cost.
Thank God for His provision!
A couple of weeks later or so, they delivered my new chair. I can’t even explain how thrilling that experience was. Learning to drive the chair indoors was very easy for me. It gave me a freedom I had never experienced before in my life, except of course when I learned how to drive a car many years before, but that is a different story.
The new chair gave me the ability to move much faster around my home and also to carry things with one hand and drive the chair with the other, which you really can’t do with a manual chair, you need both hands to drive. Also, one of the best features the chair had was a seat elevator. I could go up and reach things that normally would be out of my reach like something in the medicine cabinet or kitchen cabinet. After a short time of learning to control the chair well indoors, I went to explore my town. At first, I asked Vic to come down the driveway with me so I didn’t get too afraid and until I got used to the feeling of going down in such a steep inclination. I think that I never got rid completely of the fear of going down. I just got used to do it in spite of it. But I did go down and I did go out and about and it was marvelous!
With my chair I was able to go to different places, we had banks and supermarkets and retail stores and other places. I used to go shopping for groceries, to the bank or the pharmacy. We did not have a lot of sidewalks but at least the most important streets had them as well as the shopping centers around. We had two. Going to these places felt so good. Being able to do all these things by myself when Vic was working or with him when we would go for walks together or to do something around the neighborhood was a source of joy to me. It made me appreciate the simple things in life that I never did on my own before and I was grateful that I always had someone to do them for me. These experiences made me appreciate life on a different level, on the simplest things and I could realize we should not take things for granted.
I'll be back with more next time!
We still didn’t have furniture and Vic used a plastic crate to sit and we used the little table of my wheelchair as our table to eat. We borrowed some dishes and pots from Vic’s mom and started cooking there. It was fun to start doing these things. Pretty soon we were getting some of Vic’s old furniture and buying some new ones as well as our kitchen utensils. I knew how to cook, even though I didn’t use to do it on a regular basis when I was in Lima. I didn’t have the time or the need since there was always someone taking care of me. My mom first and then I had a housekeeper who helped me with all the domestic chores. Here I could cook as long as I adapted everything to the right height so I could reach the things I needed to be able to do it. So we did organize things the best we could. Lord! Sure I missed my housekeeper to help me with the house chores! (Well, I missed her too. I loved her like a daughter). But that was my job now and all I can say is that I appreciated more than ever all what my family and she did for me on a daily basis.One day, when we were visiting Vic’s mom, I saw a commercial on TV about a motorized wheelchair and how much independence it could bring to someone with a disability like me. I had seen them in Canada years ago but I never had one. This seemed like the best time in my life to have one. These chairs are expensive but they are also the kind of medical equipment that a medical insurance policy covers and I was insured by Vic’s medical insurance provided by his employer, so what better opportunity than this to try to get one. So I asked for a demo video and a personal demonstration conducted at my home. Days later, they went to our apartment and showed us all the features of the chair. It was really good, impressive! But we decided we wanted to shop around and look for other options. We did, and we found an even better chair! Here I am going down the driveway with my mom:
Thank God for His provision!
A couple of weeks later or so, they delivered my new chair. I can’t even explain how thrilling that experience was. Learning to drive the chair indoors was very easy for me. It gave me a freedom I had never experienced before in my life, except of course when I learned how to drive a car many years before, but that is a different story.
The new chair gave me the ability to move much faster around my home and also to carry things with one hand and drive the chair with the other, which you really can’t do with a manual chair, you need both hands to drive. Also, one of the best features the chair had was a seat elevator. I could go up and reach things that normally would be out of my reach like something in the medicine cabinet or kitchen cabinet. After a short time of learning to control the chair well indoors, I went to explore my town. At first, I asked Vic to come down the driveway with me so I didn’t get too afraid and until I got used to the feeling of going down in such a steep inclination. I think that I never got rid completely of the fear of going down. I just got used to do it in spite of it. But I did go down and I did go out and about and it was marvelous!
With my chair I was able to go to different places, we had banks and supermarkets and retail stores and other places. I used to go shopping for groceries, to the bank or the pharmacy. We did not have a lot of sidewalks but at least the most important streets had them as well as the shopping centers around. We had two. Going to these places felt so good. Being able to do all these things by myself when Vic was working or with him when we would go for walks together or to do something around the neighborhood was a source of joy to me. It made me appreciate the simple things in life that I never did on my own before and I was grateful that I always had someone to do them for me. These experiences made me appreciate life on a different level, on the simplest things and I could realize we should not take things for granted.
I'll be back with more next time!
June 10, 2010
The Apartment
Finally! After 2 months of living in the motel, one day at lunch time we went to see an apartment with a Realtor and even though it was not perfect, it was good enough to start our first home. It was a building on a hill and there were 4 small stores on the first floor in the front and 4 one bedroom apartments on the second floor in the back. The only way to get to the apartments upstairs was an uneven stone and concrete stairway or the very steep driveway that had a flat area on the top where you could park the car temporarily.
It looked something like this…
The flat area on the top was the only way I could get to the apartment but it was enough for me to be able to exit the car and get in. Then there were two very high steps at the door, the Realtor and Vic carried me in this first time, but if we liked the apartment we could install a ramp on the entrance so that obstacle could easily be fixed.
Once we entered, we saw a very large room that had a fridge, a stove and a sink. That was the living room, dining room and kitchen area, 3 in one. Large enough for those three rooms to fit in there. Then there was a little hall that led to the bathroom and I could get through the door, yippie!!! But I could not face the sink it was on the left side next to the door so I had to approach it sideways! Then the next room was the bedroom. It was big and it had a small walk in closet. That was it. We liked it. It was comfortable and had a good price so we decided to rent it. Thinking “for a year it’s not bad”, it was a good start at that moment, we would leave the motel and then later on when the lease ended we would look for something better. We never expected that we would stay there for the next 5 years!
The day finally came we went to the apartment in the morning with our luggage. The Realtor helped Vic to get me in gave us the keys and left. Vic left for the office since he didn’t have any more vacation days and I was staying in the empty apartment to wait for the only piece of furniture that we had at that moment. It was a new bed that was going to be delivered from the store. After the delivery, there was nothing for me to do, no TV, no phone, could not go out… The only thing we had there was a radio/CD player and things to read. But in so many hours you get bored and don’t know what else to do. One thing was for sure, reality started to sink in that day.
That was the moment to take a look into my life and how much it had changed in such a short time. I had spent the last ten years of my life surrounded by people that would have valued tremendously to spend just ten minutes talking with me. People that respected me sought my counsel and wanted to be around me. Lots of people, hundreds of them. As one of the pastors of a 7,000 member congregation I was popular, everybody knew me since I used to preach regularly to about 900 people at one time. I taught classes to groups from 20 to 100 students per group. And as a counselor I would see around 15 individuals a week privately in my office. At many moments during the course of my life, I had experienced how it feels to be surrounded by people and feel lonely on the inside. Until the day when I opened my heart to the Lord, in 1979. Then I knew that I would never feel lonely again, independently of having people around me or not. Now I was alone in an empty apartment, but for sure I was not lonely.
It was the Lord and me, we needed to talk. I had been praying, Vic and I did pray together too. But with all the moving and the excitement, visiting different places and things like that, God and I did not have this special time of reflection to put things into perspective. This was my big opportunity to do that. The first thing I realized was that somehow, this Country felt like home. It was a strange thing to feel since I just had left the place where I was born and raised. But this was a different sense of belonging; I guess it could be what you call a “calling”. All I know is that when I opened my heart to Jesus I was in Canada, and being in NY almost two decades later, North America felt like home. I believe that God has a purpose in bringing me to the US and this is beyond being married with Vic.
The second thing I realized was that all the people that surrounded me were gone along with my popularity. Here, I was not popular, nobody knew me and there was no one to talk to except for my husband. I didn’t even use the same last name I had in Peru! So it really was like starting a new life, a new identity… These realizations were interesting, created maybe a little bit of uncertainty, but they were a good thing to know so I would be able to grasp my new reality, accept it and start living this new life knowing that as a blank page in the story of my life, it started to be written as I went forward with my Lord guiding me and my husband besides me.
When there is a change in your life, like the one I had, stop, assess the situation, accept your reality and keep on going. I wish for you that you will open your heart to the Lord too so you don’t have to do this alone.
Thank you for reading my blog, see you next week.
It looked something like this…
The flat area on the top was the only way I could get to the apartment but it was enough for me to be able to exit the car and get in. Then there were two very high steps at the door, the Realtor and Vic carried me in this first time, but if we liked the apartment we could install a ramp on the entrance so that obstacle could easily be fixed.
Once we entered, we saw a very large room that had a fridge, a stove and a sink. That was the living room, dining room and kitchen area, 3 in one. Large enough for those three rooms to fit in there. Then there was a little hall that led to the bathroom and I could get through the door, yippie!!! But I could not face the sink it was on the left side next to the door so I had to approach it sideways! Then the next room was the bedroom. It was big and it had a small walk in closet. That was it. We liked it. It was comfortable and had a good price so we decided to rent it. Thinking “for a year it’s not bad”, it was a good start at that moment, we would leave the motel and then later on when the lease ended we would look for something better. We never expected that we would stay there for the next 5 years!
The day finally came we went to the apartment in the morning with our luggage. The Realtor helped Vic to get me in gave us the keys and left. Vic left for the office since he didn’t have any more vacation days and I was staying in the empty apartment to wait for the only piece of furniture that we had at that moment. It was a new bed that was going to be delivered from the store. After the delivery, there was nothing for me to do, no TV, no phone, could not go out… The only thing we had there was a radio/CD player and things to read. But in so many hours you get bored and don’t know what else to do. One thing was for sure, reality started to sink in that day.
That was the moment to take a look into my life and how much it had changed in such a short time. I had spent the last ten years of my life surrounded by people that would have valued tremendously to spend just ten minutes talking with me. People that respected me sought my counsel and wanted to be around me. Lots of people, hundreds of them. As one of the pastors of a 7,000 member congregation I was popular, everybody knew me since I used to preach regularly to about 900 people at one time. I taught classes to groups from 20 to 100 students per group. And as a counselor I would see around 15 individuals a week privately in my office. At many moments during the course of my life, I had experienced how it feels to be surrounded by people and feel lonely on the inside. Until the day when I opened my heart to the Lord, in 1979. Then I knew that I would never feel lonely again, independently of having people around me or not. Now I was alone in an empty apartment, but for sure I was not lonely.
It was the Lord and me, we needed to talk. I had been praying, Vic and I did pray together too. But with all the moving and the excitement, visiting different places and things like that, God and I did not have this special time of reflection to put things into perspective. This was my big opportunity to do that. The first thing I realized was that somehow, this Country felt like home. It was a strange thing to feel since I just had left the place where I was born and raised. But this was a different sense of belonging; I guess it could be what you call a “calling”. All I know is that when I opened my heart to Jesus I was in Canada, and being in NY almost two decades later, North America felt like home. I believe that God has a purpose in bringing me to the US and this is beyond being married with Vic.
The second thing I realized was that all the people that surrounded me were gone along with my popularity. Here, I was not popular, nobody knew me and there was no one to talk to except for my husband. I didn’t even use the same last name I had in Peru! So it really was like starting a new life, a new identity… These realizations were interesting, created maybe a little bit of uncertainty, but they were a good thing to know so I would be able to grasp my new reality, accept it and start living this new life knowing that as a blank page in the story of my life, it started to be written as I went forward with my Lord guiding me and my husband besides me.
When there is a change in your life, like the one I had, stop, assess the situation, accept your reality and keep on going. I wish for you that you will open your heart to the Lord too so you don’t have to do this alone.
Thank you for reading my blog, see you next week.
June 2, 2010
The Galleria
The mall where I used to go was called “The Galleria”. I spent several afternoons there after that first time I was telling you about on my last post. We used to go there for food when we were not visiting Vic’s family. Still living in the motel, we found that the food in The Galleria’s food court was better in quality, with more choices and cheaper than some of the original food we were eating on take out so that was our place to eat. If there is one thing we remember dearly as a food choice that we have not eaten since we left New York is Bourbon Chicken from the Bourbon Café. They diced the chicken in very little pieces, marinated it with bourbon and grilled it. It was so delicious! And they were smart to attract the customers, they would have someone standing by on the aisle in front of the food court where people would walk by to see what was available to eat in the different places they had there and offered free samples of this wonderful chicken from a tray full of pieces on tooth picks. Once you tried one you were hooked and knew exactly what you would be having for dinner that night! In all the trips we have made across America, we have not found this chicken again, anywhere. It would be fun to go back one day just to try it again!
On another afternoon that I stayed in The Galleria, Vic and I were going to meet at a place called Auntie Anne’s, they made fresh pretzels right there in front of you. So we were going to have a pretzel there but since it was only a counter style store, there were no chairs available to sit and eat for a little while so Vic took me to the public benches they had at The Galleria for anyone who wanted to rest, so he could have his hands free when they gave him the order. He went back to the store to pick up the pretzels and I waited at these benches. All of a sudden, this man appeared out of nowhere and sat on one of the benches and asked me if he could help me. Now, this did not make a lot of sense because I was not doing anything to help me with! I was just sitting there waiting for Vic. So I said “no thank you”, not giving any importance to the situation. And I added “my husband is coming right now” and I looked on the direction that Vic was actually coming with the pretzels and a drink. The minute this man saw Vic coming he disappeared faster than he appeared. Vic was very agitated because he told me he perceived danger when he saw this man around me. And he was ready to get rid of him but did not have the chance because the man was not there anymore by the time Vic arrived. It was actually odd that Vic felt this way because he is very friendly and normally he would have said hi to a stranger if it was a normal situation, but he felt it was not.
At first, I sincerely thought that Vic was exaggerating, and that maybe he was a little jealous and I really thought there was no danger involved. But after giving it some thought, I realized that it was really suspicious that this man disappeared as soon as he knew my husband was coming. And I thought that if his intention were good, he would have stayed and say hi to my husband like other people would do. Americans, in general, are very friendly and if they can help you on the street in some way, they do.
Now, looking back, I have a deeper perspective on this. First of all, I remember that when I left Lima, we only had one big mall and it was fairly new, the Jockey Plaza. So being in a big store in Lima meant maybe a department store like Sears that changed its name to Saga when Sears left. And the environment is totally different than in a mall in America. You are not alone there even if you go by yourself because it is not that big as a mall is here. And there are always other shoppers around you besides the sales people. So in fact, this was also the first time I was faced with a situation like this and it never occurred to me that there was a potential danger there. Now, that I have lived here for years, I know that malls are some of the places where evil people look for their next victim of any crime they are planning to commit. Either robbery or kidnapping of a minor or drug dealings, these things can occur in a regular mall in America. Please don’t get scared. Crime occurs everywhere and anywhere in the world inside stores or outside on the streets and that does not mean it will occur all the time and we should just get a good lock and stay home for the rest of our lives! No, malls are in general, very secure, they have guards that work for the mall and patrol the mall and the parking lot. Also, because there is a big amount of people that go to the malls, that helps to kind of look for each other too. But it is good to have the eyes wide open and be reasonably careful because, unfortunately, not everybody has good intentions. That was my lesson that night.
On my next post I will be sharing with you how we finally found our apartment and moved in. There was where a new phase of the story started!
On another afternoon that I stayed in The Galleria, Vic and I were going to meet at a place called Auntie Anne’s, they made fresh pretzels right there in front of you. So we were going to have a pretzel there but since it was only a counter style store, there were no chairs available to sit and eat for a little while so Vic took me to the public benches they had at The Galleria for anyone who wanted to rest, so he could have his hands free when they gave him the order. He went back to the store to pick up the pretzels and I waited at these benches. All of a sudden, this man appeared out of nowhere and sat on one of the benches and asked me if he could help me. Now, this did not make a lot of sense because I was not doing anything to help me with! I was just sitting there waiting for Vic. So I said “no thank you”, not giving any importance to the situation. And I added “my husband is coming right now” and I looked on the direction that Vic was actually coming with the pretzels and a drink. The minute this man saw Vic coming he disappeared faster than he appeared. Vic was very agitated because he told me he perceived danger when he saw this man around me. And he was ready to get rid of him but did not have the chance because the man was not there anymore by the time Vic arrived. It was actually odd that Vic felt this way because he is very friendly and normally he would have said hi to a stranger if it was a normal situation, but he felt it was not.
At first, I sincerely thought that Vic was exaggerating, and that maybe he was a little jealous and I really thought there was no danger involved. But after giving it some thought, I realized that it was really suspicious that this man disappeared as soon as he knew my husband was coming. And I thought that if his intention were good, he would have stayed and say hi to my husband like other people would do. Americans, in general, are very friendly and if they can help you on the street in some way, they do.
Now, looking back, I have a deeper perspective on this. First of all, I remember that when I left Lima, we only had one big mall and it was fairly new, the Jockey Plaza. So being in a big store in Lima meant maybe a department store like Sears that changed its name to Saga when Sears left. And the environment is totally different than in a mall in America. You are not alone there even if you go by yourself because it is not that big as a mall is here. And there are always other shoppers around you besides the sales people. So in fact, this was also the first time I was faced with a situation like this and it never occurred to me that there was a potential danger there. Now, that I have lived here for years, I know that malls are some of the places where evil people look for their next victim of any crime they are planning to commit. Either robbery or kidnapping of a minor or drug dealings, these things can occur in a regular mall in America. Please don’t get scared. Crime occurs everywhere and anywhere in the world inside stores or outside on the streets and that does not mean it will occur all the time and we should just get a good lock and stay home for the rest of our lives! No, malls are in general, very secure, they have guards that work for the mall and patrol the mall and the parking lot. Also, because there is a big amount of people that go to the malls, that helps to kind of look for each other too. But it is good to have the eyes wide open and be reasonably careful because, unfortunately, not everybody has good intentions. That was my lesson that night.
On my next post I will be sharing with you how we finally found our apartment and moved in. There was where a new phase of the story started!
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